02.06.08

Life is so frustrating... I didnt talk to anthony much[ today]... I feel like i cant get a hold of myself I'm losing it! I dont like love anymore its frustrating... I still cant write.. I keep missing things in class becuase of [prior] engagements such as job shadowing and women of tomorrow. my grades are already below the 90's [ in the 80's] --slipping-- Eveerything is wrong..the people I love are lsing it! money is lost =/ finanical game NOT ON POINT money is tight its not freaking right. I cant get help for the life of me.. I need someone to talk to... but even if i had somene what would I tell them? about my deepest secret? no only lynn aakashaa diamone keaana and "wetwetnyc" [not syainger her name] know... i think i told james.. i donno damn it i think i told derek 2 lol some secret.. uh i just dont knw i need to understand what it is i did wrong.. hmmmm ok well i dont know who isreading this so i have to be carefuli guess... anywho! today i went to school went to an ettiquette class I LEARNED NOTHING NEW! surprised? i am 2! =] ok um then i went to tv... watched tv in tv and played pinball [woo.hoo.] um then i was on the bus... boring ride nothing to talk about played my psp... then i got home tired as hell ATTEMPTED to sleep my mother ended that now i cant sleep and i m typing ehre... umm lets see some people i want to talk about




LYNN! ok I love this chick [no not like i want to marry her so stop] I love her tho she is my bestfriend [one of three] she is soo amazing! i love everything about her because she's just different and thats important to me i hate bricks if i liked bricks i wouldnt have paint on my walls so nah! anyway she tends to not see what i see i mean she has a great personality her weakness is making everyone happy it sucks! because she needs to make herself happy I look up to her but she doesnt knw it [she will probably know after this post] i think she needs a happy boost i dont know how or where from we.. i know where from and thats in her! I dont know what to say right now because she isnt happy...like me she may smile but its a facade...trust me!

JAMES!!! that nigga can not control his damn money omg! its freaking ughhhhh i want him to be prosperous but he just wants stuff now! i can respect that impulsive people get places quicker but damn man! just .... lawd! i dont know i dont know im gonna pray for him lol i care enough about him to pray for him !!! oh yeah that reminds me...when i see him can someone remind me to smack the hell outta him for worrying me? ty =]..ok now one other thing .... job hunting time for him! i dont like where he works cause he doesnt so yeah


ANTHONY. mad at him..enought said he is so freaking hypocritical! just damn "communication is imporant to me baby" but yeah i cant text back cause i dont feel liek it im sorry y-- yo fuck that - shit i thought he was in the hospital or worse freaking damn shitaki ahh! damn. how can one dude get to me like this =[ yall probably think im crazy now :-< crazy in love dammit


NIKA! SHE MAKES ME PROUD lol good grades gooooood grades she is my other bestfriend!
lol i got nada to say tho


AAKASHAAA!!!!! =[ im losing touch with her...gotta work on that shit seriously i miss her im just like outta it for the past month damn... p.s. she is my other other bestfriend!

well thats it sooo im outty!